


Claws, Hatred and Galra

by ShadowedLove97



Series: Galra Keith Oneshots [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Galra Keith (Voltron), Hint of autistic Keith if you squint, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Other, Self-Hatred, Vent Writing, could take this as a meltdown, might not be canon compliant, written before watching season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 22:48:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9406238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowedLove97/pseuds/ShadowedLove97
Summary: Slashing, slashing, slashing, dodging, weaving, slashing. Keith fought and fought. But it didn't serve to lessen the red hot anger that burned at his whole being and that seared his heart and blinded his eyes from everything but his blood-thirsty goal. To pull apart. To maim. To dismantle this godforsaken machine and the image it held to him. To tear apart his own limbs and to strip away his own emotions until there was nothing left, until he could no longer feel, no longer hurt. Until he was just a pile of nothingness, a ghost that haunted no one, and there was naught even a memory of him lingering.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a vent piece, but in general none of the specific feelings outside of pure rage actually belong to me. Just needed something to write to get over my anger. Um....this is written before I've watched season 2, so I'm not sure if it's canon compliant or not. My friend informed me that it's hard to tell but it probably isn't? Anyways hope you enjoy!
> 
> Note: kinda forgot how the training dummies worked. They're more like holograms than actual robots, but for this I took some creative liberties apparently.

      Paladins jumped and stumbled out of their lions, bone-wary after the day's events. Lance rubbed at a tear in the arm of his armor and the blood oozing out of it, breathing shallowly. Hunk messaged a leg, and Pidge rubbed clutched at one side of their head. Shiro slid off his own lion, clutching at his side, but nothing stained his hand and the armor was intact. No one mentioned it to, suspecting that it was an unconscious movement, bags lining his eyes and betraying the confidence he seemed to be putting up.

 

      "Good job today team. I know we didn't come out unscathed, but we managed to save the captives, and without any major injuries. So I'm proud of all of you." He smiles and looks around, but something is missing and he couldn't place it. A presence that he was so used to being around; but Lance was there, and so were the rest.

 

      "Good work today guys! I'm so glad you are all alright." A flurry of white and blue and they were suddenly pulled into a tight hug by their leader, her smile brilliant.

 

      "Yes, I knew you could do it!" Said another voice as two more arms wrapped around the battered crew. "We just had some few minor setbacks, that's all."

 

      Hunk doesn’t look convinced, raised eyebrows and all. "You know Coran, normally I agree with you but I'm _pretty_ sure those weren't just _minor_ setbacks, y'know? Like not going to lie to you guys, but I was pretty sure I was going to die out there when Keith had wiped out into me."

 

      Keith! "Speaking of Keith, have any of you seen him?" Shiro asks, tentatively. He didn't want to cause a panic.

 

      "No... Not since we split up back there in the ship."

 

      Shiro blanches, his mouth dry. "You guys _split up_?"

 

      "No, _he_ split up with us! We told him not to go, but he didn't listen and I didn't get a chance to stop him." Lance glowered at the ground, no longer clutching his arm but, instead, letting his arms rest at his side. Except they weren't really resting, tensed with his fingers digging into the palms of his hands. "He was acting... _really weird_ Shiro. Like I don't know what was up with him. But the moment he saw Haggard he just-- I don't know."

 

      "He, like, _lost it_!" Hunk finishes for him. "But not even like, yelling or anything. He just looked...scared. I don't know. Scared and then angry? Then he just like...ran after her. I don't know. I couldn't tell; he wasn't listening to us at all, and not in, y'know, his usual Keith way. It was like he didn't hear us. Like we just...weren't there to him."

 

      "Really? That doesn't sound like Keith at all." Pidge put a hand to their chin, their elbow resting on their other hand. "Weird. Is his lion here at least?"

 

      Shiro had already started pacing the hanger already, feeling as if there was a thousand pound led in his stomach. He tasted ash and he could feel himself shaking. Where was Keith? "Keith?" The echoing of his footsteps stopped in front of two mechanical paws, Shiro staring straight up into the eyes of Red. "Keith? You in there buddy?" There was no reply, just static over the communication device. Shiro's heart hammered so strongly against his chest that he was sure it would crack open his ribs. "Keith?"

 

      _"Yeah, yeah I'm here."_ Keith breathes heavily over their intercom, followed by a series of raspy coughs. _"Just...just give me a second."_

 

      "Keith....are you okay? Keith?" Shiro steps closer to the lion, preparing to enter. "Are you injured at all? Do you need any help?"

 

      _"No. I'm fine. Just **stay away** "_

 

      This startles Shiro and only serves to worry him more. Behind him, he could hear the others joining him from outside the lion. "Keith....Keith I'm coming up. Please let me in."

 

      _"I SAID NO."_

 

      Shiro frowns. "I'm sorry, but I can't follow that request. You sound hurt and, no matter how much I wish to respect your wishes, I'm not just going to let you take care of it yourself." All he was met with was more static.

 

      "Shiro." A hand on his shoulder stops him from continuing in, causing him to look back and meet deep blue eyes. There was no need for words, Lance's eyes telling all. Shiro could see his own determination and worry reflected in Lance, so he nodded and grabbed hold of the other's hand, holding it tightly in the warmth of his human one.

 

      Everyone else stayed put as they started tentatively heading over to where they could enter into the Lion. They knew, of course they knew, that it was best if only Lance and Shiro entered. After all, he was the closest to them and them alone.

 

      Surprisingly, Red let them in -- not from the mouth, mind you -- despite Keith's wishes. This only furthered their concern as they dropped in from the top, behind Keith's chair where they couldn't see him correctly. What they could see was the top of his helmet, which was cracked.

 

      "Keith, buddy?" They didn't approach, couldn't approach. Not yet. They were already close enough to see that he had to be huddled over himself (normally they'd see more than just the top of his helmet if he were not, after all). Not to mention that it was reminiscent of a...certain memory, one that they had tried banishing to the back of their minds. That memory clung to them now, a ghost that haunted their movements, especially Shiro's, as he did reach out to touch the chair. He wouldn't step closer, and he wouldn't swivel it, but he wasn't sure if Keith knew that they were there. He was scarily quiet, even his breathing so soft that it made Shiro wonder if the gasping and coughing had been from Keith at all. "We're right here. Please talk to us."

 

      There was another long stretch of silence. Neither of them dared to breathe too loudly, lest it somehow irritated the other. It wasn't long before they started doubting if he would answer, and only another few minutes after that the thought that he had passed out had intruded into their minds. But before they could move, before they could even voice that concern, his voice rose, eerily and forcibly calm. "I told you to stay back."

 

      "I'm sorry Keith, but we couldn't. Not when you could be hurt."

 

      "Yeah! We weren't just going to let you bleed out in here or something! Who do you take us for? Galran?"

 

      Nothing. Not a word from Keith, not even a laugh or a sneer. Hell, not even-- "Keith?!" They couldn't hear his breathing. Was he breathing? "Keith, are you okay? Ke--"

 

      Lance had yanked back the chair, startling Keith out of whatever frozen state he had been in. But it wasn't those pale, violet-grey eyes that stared back up at him, but yellow. And instead of his lightly olive skin, all he saw was purple. His heart lurched, figuring it was a bruise, before he put two and two together and realized that it _wasn't_ , but instead it was purple fur. Except, was it really? Maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him. Maybe he just wasn't seeing Keith's eyes correctly due to the visor. "Keith...?"

 

      "I told you to stay back." He said through gritted teeth. No, not teeth. _Fangs_. "I told you that I was FINE." Lance slammed back into the wall, pinned by Keith whom was breathing heavily and snarling. "But did you listen? NO. I could have had this under _control_! You wouldn't have had to have seen me _like this_! But NO. You just had to come in here _when I told you not too_!"

 

      "Keith! STOP IT." Keith was yanked back by Shiro, cold biting into his shoulder.

 

      "Let go Shiro!" He tore himself away, stumbling and pushing Shiro as he fell. His helmet clattered, skittering away to some forsaken part of the cockpit. He didn't care. He didn't care because Shiro and Lance were staring at him, at the two large ears flattened against his head as he lay against the floor that his claws dug into. He knew, but he couldn’t look at them long enough to judge their reactions. "I didn't want you to see this. If you guys just have stayed away I could have--" He dug his claws deeper into the ground. Red didn't complain; only sending thoughts and images of quiet landscapes to his mind. But no matter how many, it didn't change his mental state, didn't change his labored breathing or the burning of his eyes or the horrified stares of his friends (he didn't see them, he couldn't look at them, but he knew they had to be horrified at this).

 

      "...Mullet?"

 

      Keith looked up then against his better judgement, and immediately found himself close to retching as his stomach lurched. Shiro stared at him with an ashen face and a shaking body, while Lance approached him cautiously. Slowly. As if he was some wild animal waiting to lash out. Maybe he was. He looked up at the ceiling, where the exit had yet to be closed. "I've-- I've got to go." And then, sitting up and tensing, he jumped. He heard everyone startle under him, but he didn't listen, didn't pay them any mind as he hurried away. Something exploded to his right, and then his left -- Where was their aim? He questioned bitterly. -- But he paid it no mind just like the shouting thereafter as he rounded into the hall that led out of the hanger. They had shot at him. Did they realize who it was? Maybe not.

 

      He couldn't tell if that made it hurt worse or not.

 

      Keith didn't look back and didn't stop until he was at the very outer corner of the ship.

\---

      "Wait, what? No! That couldn't have been Keith! That was a Galra! Right?" Hunk's eyes darted between Lance and Shiro.

 

      "No, that. That was Keith alright." Shiro confirmed, still gulping air as he tried to steady his shaking form. He could feel the sweat clinging to his skin, and the memories haunted him, threatening to pull him under. It was difficult to stay present. He ran a hand through his white bangs.

 

      "Wait, really?" Pidge appeared skeptical.

 

      "Are you _sure_?" Allura cut in next.

 

      "Yeah. There's no doubt about it. That was Keith." Lance interjected. How could they not have seen it was Keith? Sure he was a Galran now but... It had been obvious, hadn't it?

 

      "Well, what do we do? I haven't faced a situation like this since the old days! Except it was a secret half Shklogan and not a secret Galran. Not to mention that this is a time of war!" Coran had a hand on his chin now. "This is very troubling."

 

      Lance bristled. "Are you suggesting we _throw him out_?!"

 

      "Quiznak no! But this isn't like back then. It's not going to be the same as saying, 'Oh well look at that! Isn't that just great?' and be on our way. He's probably not a traitor, but we're fighting his kinship aren't we? It's going to be hard on all sides."

 

      Lance centered himself with a deep breath. Coran was right, of course he was right. Despite some of the absolutely out there things he has said before, Coran still had some wisdom left in him. And now of all times it was best to listen to him. This couldn't be easy for Keith. Had he even known he was at least half Galran before all this? He never talked about his family before, but it could be possible that, somehow, his parents had blended in. Or maybe he didn't know one of them. Or... Lance shook it off. The idea of Keith as an orphan hurt too much. Although he could have been adopted; maybe even without him knowing? That lessened the pressure in his chest some.

 

      "Should we go after him?" Everyone looked over at Hunk, whom shrunk in on himself at the stares. "To apologize, I mean."

 

      "No." Shiro stared at them evenly. Although he was still pale, he was no longer shaking and seemed to have gathered himself together. For now, at least. Lance was sure that Shiro was, in all likelihood, going to fall apart the moment he was alone in his own room. "Let's just leave him be for now. And if you see him somewhere...well try to leave him alone if he doesn't seem open to talking to anyone. That's the best we can do for now."

\---

      Blood roared in Keith's ears. He swiped, clawed, tore, sliced, and dodged. Metal crunched under his claws and all he could see was red. He couldn't think or breathe or see properly but it didn't matter. All that mattered was the decimation of the dummy under him as it lay without the weapon he had scattered moments before. "Another!" He snarled while he stood and took ahold of his bayard once more. Just as requested, another one was deposited in front of him. And then the vicious cycle continued.

 

      Slashing, slashing, slashing, dodging, weaving, slashing. Keith fought and fought. But it didn't serve to lessen the red hot anger that burned at his whole being and that seared his heart and blinded his eyes from everything but his blood-thirsty goal. To pull apart. To maim. To dismantle this _godforsaken_ machine and the image it held to him. To tear apart his own limbs and to strip away his own emotions until there was _nothing_ left, until he could no longer feel, no longer hurt. Until he was just a pile of nothingness, a ghost that haunted no one, and there was naught even a memory of him lingering.

 

      Why did it have to be like this? Why? _Why why why why why why?_ "Why?" He roared, pulling off the arm and taking the weapon from within its hand. It crashed to the ground with a crunch and he continued to stab its pole into its chest. Stab, stab, stab. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. He jabbed it into its core, into the mechanism that made it tick, its own heart, _his heart_ , over and over and over. Except it wasn't his own heart, and all that lay before him was a pile of junk that would no longer move and the longer he stared the higher his anger rose instead of dissipating.

 

      "AGAIN!" Another robot appeared, again a higher level, and faintly he wondered if he would run out of them eventually, before he started again. He would eviscerate himself and this goddamned robot and spill over the bowels of his existence because he just didn't _want it_. Why a Galran? _Why why why why why why why? Why?_

 

      He smashed into a wall and his body crumpled. This one was harder, but as it stood over him, ready to deal a "finishing" blow, he stabbed his sword upwards into its abdomen. He tore and swiped and watched as the robot crumbled into two. But there was no satisfaction to it. A hollow victory that was reflected in his own hollow being. "I hate you!" _I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you!_ Over and over and over again in his head, a mantra that was reflected in his own stabbings. "Why did you have to be Galran?! WHY?" Something warm dampened the fur around his eyes, which burned and stung, and his chest heaved with the breaths that he just couldn't seem to regulate. He didn't know whom he was yelling at anymore. If it was himself, his father, his friends. The universe. He didn't know. And it didn't matter. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered but the destruction before him.

 

      **"ANOTHER!"**

 

      This one was more difficult, but somehow he managed to not get thrown the first move. But even still he found himself struggling, pain bruising his chest, abdomen, legs, arms, head, as every part of him was hit with each failed block. He couldn't see straight, his vision was blocked, clouded, but he didn't care. He'd destroy this robot too. He'd destroy as many as they would deposit. Just like the many facets of his own being.

 

      "End session!"

 

      The robot shut down, immobile over Keith whom had been clutching at his side, the weapon having been jabbed into him when he had blocked particularly poorly. But it wasn't him that had ended it, and when he looked up, he saw Shiro and Lance hovering at the edge of his vision, worried but hesitant to come closer. He snarled. "Why are you here? Why did you _end it_?! I was fine! I would have decimated it!"

 

      "You don't look fine to me Keith!"

 

      "Well I wasn't _asking_ you Lance!"

 

      "Stop it! You weren't fine, Keith. You've been in here _all day_. You're exhausting yourself. Do you know how dangerous that is? _Especially_ after a mission that had lasted a whole day? Have you even eaten? Slept? What about any injuries? Did you take care of them?"

 

      "Stop it! _Stop it_!" Keith jumped to his feet, stomping towards both of them. "I don't need your-your false concern! Your fake pity! You're afraid of me, aren't you?! So just STAY AWAY AND OUT OF MY BUSINESS!" He pushed past them, meaning to leave them and the wreckage in his wake, but a hand gently grabbed his wrist and stopped him. When he looked back, Shiro was studying his claws, eyes soft with worry.

 

      "Look at you. Your claws are cracked. What have you been doing in here?"

 

      Keith yanked his hand back, no longer glaring but his eyebrows high with surprise and eyes watery with...with... With what? "I.... I'm going into my room. Don't follow. _Please_." And with that, he retreated.

 

      "Shiro?" His boyfriend looked over sadly, waiting for whatever Lance was going to say. "Should we leave him alone again?"

 

      "For a little bit, yeah. But not...not too long. Why don't we see if there's any entertainment or media we could get to bring into him." Lance nodded at that and they, too, left the wreckage of the training area. They'd notify Coran or Allura when they saw them.

\---

      Keith was breathing funny and his ears were ringing when a knock on his door echoed through his room. It banged in his head and he clawed at his ears, flattening them against his head as to drown out the noise. "Go away."

 

      "Keith, it's us, please. Let us in. We just want to talk for a little bit."

 

      He hesitated. He didn't want them to come in. Didn't want them to see. But another desire lay nestled deep within him; the desire to be in the company of his lovers. "...Come in. But be quiet."

 

      Light streamed in from the hall as the door slid open, blinding him, but otherwise disappearing as the door closed again. Despite their obvious efforts in being quiet, he could still hear their footsteps. He chopped it up to his newly sensitive hearing, his new ears. "Hey love. We found this weird...laptop thing. It has a few videos saved on it. Do you want to watch them with us?"

 

      Keith bit his lip, forgetting of his fangs and tasting metal as they bled on his tongue. "I guess." Lance frowned and rubbed at it as the two sat around him and settled in.

 

      They didn't get far into the movie. Keith didn't know how, but he knew it was old. It had to be. And it was only confirmed when they watched a scene of an Altean child, playing alone with flowers, and then a Galran child playing next to them. Keith froze, and they stopped the movie. Not necessarily for him, for they were shocked as well, but it wasn't long before they quickly realized that Keith was breathing funny again. A weird mix of uneven gasps and a deep rumble in his chest. He curled in on himself, ears flat against his head. When they asked if they could touch him, he said yes. They rubbed his back and arm, but didn't speak. He was grateful.

 

      "Why? Why did I have to be half Galran?" He gasped out moments later. "W-Why did I have to be..? Am I bad because I'm only half human? Because I'm half Galran? Am I even half human? And why couldn't he stay? _Why_?" There it was; that question again. Why. "Why did he have to leave me on earth in a fucking run down orphanage if he was alive?! Why did he have to leave me to be passed along by foster families? Why couldn't he have stayed? Why couldn't he have taken me with him? Why couldn't he have...?" A sob tore through him. "I hate him. I hate him and myself and my mother and everyone and everything. I wish I wasn't here. I wish--" His voice hiccupped from the exertion of crying, which was somehow harder than expected. "Except I don't. Except I don't and I hate it! I hate it Shiro! I hate it Lance! And I don't know what to do." His voice lowered, and suddenly he found himself buried in both of their shoulders. When had they moved in front of him? "I don't know what to do."

 

      "Just be you." Keith looked up, looked up into the loving, sad eyes of both of his lovers. "Just be you Keith. That's all."

 

      "Yeah, just because you're Galran doesn't mean it changes anything. You're still you, Keith. You're my rival, my boyfriend. Shiro's boyfriend. Our family. The red paladin. A defender of the universe. Just... You're you. And no one hates you for it. No one."

 

      Keith stared up at them, searching for any sign, any clue that they were lying. But nothing betrayed them, and he broke down sobbing again, soaking their shirts. A weight lifted slightly, somehow. He didn't know how or why but it did and he was so grateful. He knew, of course he knew, that this would be hard, that it was going to be difficult. That he will still struggle with himself later on, how could he not? But it was okay for now; it was okay because he had his boyfriends, and his friends, to support him. That was all that mattered. Especially now, as he snuggled into their arms and let the last of his tears fall and let himself be enveloped by their love. Because it was going to be okay. Because he was loved despite-- no, _because_ of whom he was. Because what he was mattered, but it was okay, because it didn't make him bad. He made himself who he was. And who he was, was loved by those who supported him.

**Author's Note:**

> Will be writing a prequel to this in the future about Keith's run-in with Haggard and also the memory that I had alluded to earlier belong to Shiro and Lance. Maybe even a sequel too. Who knows?


End file.
